January 31, 2016

I am happy to report that the Alaskan cruise was wonderful! We had a great time. The things we saw, the stories that accompany the history and the palpable respect that the residents of that state have for the land, the wildlife and their care to preserve the environment and the historical structures is very moving.

In late August we did cross the Sea of Cortez on Don's boat, the Iron Dutchess, It was exciting to do that for the first time. I admit though that when we were in the middle of the Sea with no land to be seen, I had to talk myself down from a panic attack. With my claustrophobia, when it struck me that getting off the boat was not an option - at least not a reasonable one, I freaked out! Don and I took the night watch and the pay off was watching the sun set in the water - the sky awash with stars - and the moon seemingly rise up out of it. That was an unforgettable experience.

In November we spent several days with Mom on and around her centennial. She is an amazing woman! Almost all of her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren rotated through Las Vegas to celebrate Her! There are times when she is confused but when engaging in a conversation she is present, interesting and has a great sense of humor. We have been blessed to have her stay with us for 100 years.

Disneyland is one of my favorite places. I had not been in ten years - maybe more. In December, Erin Caitlin and her boyfriend, Travis, and Don (that took some encouragement) and I spent a wonderful and full day in the Magic Kingdom. We all had a great time. Erin, who has had an annual pass for many years, served as the perfect guide. She knew where to go and when, how to get where we needed to be in the quickest possible way, and where to sit for the parade, fireworks and snowfall. Perfect!

Last May I took a part time roll at work with the hope that a bit more rest would position me to better tolerate the side effects of the chemo I am taking. I am symptomatic not from the cancer but from my body's reaction to the medication. For the past 7 or 8 months I had been enjoying good news from my quarterly scans - lymph nodes in the supra clavicular and axillary area reduced in size to almost normal. Bone metastases no longer visible, cancer markers inching down toward normal and no evidence of new disease. All good news.

My scan results in late December were consistent in all areas except for the supra clavicular nodes, 3 of which have doubled in size. Three steps forward and 2 back. All the other factors remained the same indicating that the meds are controlling almost everything. We are now discussing alternative treatments. Radiating the nodes is one option. I met with the Radiation Oncologist last week. He will collaborate with my Medical Oncologist and then we will all decide together what the best steps are. The hard part for me is that the right choice is rarely, if ever, straight forward and clear and the choice is mine - mine! I'm the least educated of the group to make these choices.

At the start of the Spring semester, I resumed full time status at work. I plan to take each day as it comes and should it become too much, I will join the ranks of the unemployed or find a job that allows for part time work. I do love so many things about my job and that makes leaving a tough call.

Not long after I was diagnosed in December of 2014, I was sent an op ed piece from the New York Times. It was written in January of 2014 by Paul Kalanithi - a 36 year old Neurosurgeon. At the time of writing, he had been recently diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer. The article is entitled "How Much Time Do I Have Left." He is a gifted writer. He puts words to thoughts and feelings eloquently. Unfortunately Dr. Kalanithi died in March of 2015, not before he wrote a book When Breath Becomes Air. I encourage any of you that might be interested to search his NY Times article on the web and/or purchase his book. It has been a source of comfort for me and offers a sense of solidarity with other cancer victims. One of his bits of wisdom - "We are never so wise as when we live in this moment." I remind myself of this quote many times a day.

I hope this finds you all well and enjoying whatever 2016 brings you.

Warmest Regards,
Kathy